Have you ever struggled to get your child to do something responsible like tidy up after themselves, do household chores or finish their homework?
Despite asking nicely and doing everything in your power to motivate them, they simply responded with misery and avoided listening to anything you had to say. You're not alone. Most of us struggle to motivate ourselves so trying to motivate another person, a child for that matter, can be really tough.
So how do you do it?
Some parents like Amy Chua (best-selling author of Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother) argue that it's best to give children no options, no treats or incentives for hard work. According to Chua's method of parenting, children have no choice and no power.
Whilst Amy makes a valid point in terms of understanding parental relationships, giving your kids no choice but to do what they say isn't always effective. Rather than follow the 'tiger mom' approach, you can take things into control without your kids deeming you a monster.
Here are some options:
1. Allow them to do chores/homework/duties whilst having fun. For example, I personally hate tidying up- I really do! However, there is nothing as fun as tidying up whilst listening to my favourite songs or watching a great film. Similarly, children don't mind doing hard things so far as they're doing them and having a bit of fun at the same time.
2. Give them options. So your son hates taking out the bins but doesn't mind mopping the floor? Perfect! Let him/her choose which chore or duty they prefer. In doing so you're allowing them to exercise their own judgement, be independent and you're also learning about what they do or don't like.
3. Don't bribe them or accept bribes. Teaching your child that bribing is acceptable is unhealthy and can cause them to believe that manipulating people is acceptable. Bribing might seem like an easy and effortless option but in the long run it won't pay off!
Your homework (yes parents get homework too!)
Practice implementing at least one of these three tips this week and see if it has an effect your child.
Let me know how it goes by leaving a comment below or by liking this blog post!
The Tutoress